Have you, as many have, spent your entire life doing what others told you that you should do? You can reset your life and truly live it!Ned Lips – Author
For the video version of this blog, along with my interview with Donalee Gastreich of Awaken the Spirit Within, head to my YouTube Channel, http://bit.ly/NedLipsAuthorYouTubeChannel or for audio, search Ned Lips wherever you get your podcasts.
Your path is yours alone. We all know those few friends or acquaintances who found their ways early on and seem to have breezed through life without a care in the world. They love their job. They look forward to going to work every day. They work long hours because they want to. We all hate those people, but in reality, we envy them.
Those people can be you. The difference between you and them is that they figured out what they were passionate about, dreamed about being, early on and pursued that no matter what anyone else said and no matter the hurdles they had to overcome, which were remarkably few, we thought to ourselves.
Well I guess I don’t know about you, but for most of us that simply doesn’t happen. We’re smart enough, good enough and all that, but we haven’t been brave enough. I know so many people who, like me, followed easy path after easy path along which they were guided by sometimes well-meaning folks, like parents, friends, teachers, pastors, counselors and the like, and sometimes by those who want us for their own purposes, like bosses and perhaps spouses. “You should be a” whatever.
In this scene, Sarah is struggling with her self-worth as a leader, which is often the biggest hurdle we have to overcome if we are to become who we know in our heart of hearts we are destined to be, to find our superpowers and to exploit them.
Alright everybody, please turn to page 213 in your handy-dandy Reset books. Sarah begins . . .
“How do you know about Robert?” her voice quivered.Reset page 213
“Your nightmares. You babble, but Robert comes through clear,” Tom replied. “You’re scared to death of that guy!”
The crimson darkness churned inside her, but she closed her eyes, felt it, controlled it and guided it back down into her soul. Asha appeared to her. “Release it all. To love, you must share. To defeat the darkness, you must free yourself of it.”
Sarah spills out to Tom the secrets that have been haunting her, holding her back, blocking her ability to fully utilize her superpowers. The first step to finding your own path is not to find your passions; it is to know in your heart of hearts that you deserve to be happy, to follow your dreams and that you can do it.
Not always an easy first step. We usually need help to get there. In this scene in First Steps, pages 68-69, Sarah broaches the subject of leaving Robert to begin to follow her own path.
After a pause, the tension settled in the room. Sarah considered exploring the subject but decided to leave that for the weekend. She took a deep breath. “So, Mom and Dad are going to get a divorce. I can’t live like this anymore, and the two of you shouldn’t have to live like this. Your father doesn’t know it yet, but tomorrow morning, I’m going to see a woman who helps people with divorces, and she’ll help me start the process. Do you understand why this has to happen?”First Steps pages 68-69
She assumed they’d cry, but they didn’t. Janie teared up a little, but Jazz said in a straightforward manner, “Mom, it’s about time. Dad’s a jerk, and we need to get as far away from him as we can as fast as we can.”
Sarah was not prepared for the venom Jazz had in her heart for her father.
It is the reassurance from her eldest daughter that helps her realize this is the right step. Of course, it’s the right step for her, for them, to get them out of the brutal abusive marriage that has come close to killing her. She feels trapped in that marriage, as we find ourselves so often, in a relationship, a job, a situation that we know brings us anything but joy.
At some point, you have to pour your demons, secrets, fears and terrors out to someone you trust. You have to get it all out there, cleansing your soul. This allows you to realize that they are all just memories from your past, memories that no longer need to haunt you. When you can do this, get past your own past, you go a long way toward allowing your soul the freedom to follow your path and your path alone.
I went to college. I started in political science, but my mother suggested medicine. I changed. Then I found I couldn’t do chemistry, so I changed again. Other things happened, and with the advice of my guidance counselor, I graduated a year late with a bachelor’s degree in psychology because “that is all you can get with the credits you have and graduate by May 1983.”
I worked for my uncle. I worked for my father. Hated both. My friends were in law school. My girlfriend wanted to move to D.C. So, I went to law school in D.C. I did fine, ended up marrying and divorcing that girlfriend, and moved back to St. Louis.
I met another girl, took a job at a prestigious law firm, got married and had children. None of it was my decision. Of course, ultimately it was, but my mom wanted grandkids. Lisa was nice and ended up being a great mother. I changed jobs and joined my best friend’s law firm. Became a partner. Next step, next step.
My brother and I started a company. I did it because I needed out of law, which I’d come to hate. A failed business. Another divorce. A next job with another good friend. Blah, blah, blah. Follow the bouncing ball.
All along, I wrote. Stories, books, poems, articles, nonfiction, fiction. That’s what I loved, but “it is too hard to make a living doing that,” everyone said, and they could be right, so I did the next thing.
When I hit bottom in 2016, it was time. I finally listened to my heart of hearts and decided to take this writing thing seriously.