Conflict

None of your parents, pastors, counselors, teachers, bosses, best friends, siblings, nor that weird guy yelling about God on the street corner, know what’s truly right for YOU, but they’re all certain that they do.

Ned Lips – Author

Robert’s fists, nothing clear. Give in, Sarah. Join me. Gloomy, dark crimson, flashes, Robert’s face, bourbon. Robert’s family, laughing. Girls crying. A flash. Tony’s face. That crippling smile. “Join me, Sarah.”
Pounding head, oily daggers, Robert’s laughter, searing pain from everywhere . . . “Join me, Sarah.” She was shivering, then crying.

A warmth, a soft gentle soul, strong, new, different. It allowed her spirits freedom. The Tiger ripped through the darkness, Bear claws clamped down on the Storm.

From Reset page 141

The evil side of the Storm spirit within her, feeding on Sarah’s self-doubts and fears, wants her to take the easy way and join Tony and his mob, but Sarah knows that path is not right for her. It takes her own strong spirits to control the haunting horrors of her past to allow her the strength to resist. It is not until she frees herself of those negative emotions and learns the strength of love that she gains control of her superpowers.

Mother and Mallory came to her defense, but they were not really supporters of her causes so much as they supported her. . . .
Then Herb would give Sarah a big hug, gazing down at her with his sparkling brown eyes. They separated with a big pat on her back, which would knock her forward. She came to believe that Herb loved her as much as he did Robert. Robert never came to her aid. He’d take a drink and watch, as though he knew she’d be guided into behaving properly. He was right, of course. It didn’t take long for her to suppress those thoughts in favor of peace and harmony in the family. Mother had even told her that she appreciated it.

From First Steps page 17

How many of us succumb to external pressures, suppressing our own desires and dreams, giving in to preserve family harmony or keep out jobs or comply with church dogma we just can’t believe in? Sarah is finding a place in Robert’s family, something she has never known, and gives up a passion to do so.

Your life, along with your guilt, self-doubt, fears, anger and other negative emotions, those you fought to escape in your Storm, return over and over. They are your kryptonite. They will come to you through enemies, friends, parents, loved ones and others who do not understand that you are changing your life, following what you know in your heart of hearts is right for you. They don’t know or understand your passions. They don’t believe you have superpowers. They’ve come to believe joy is a myth.

Whether meaning well or not, they will want to drag you back to their understanding of how you should live your life.

This is your biggest battle. The one within yourself, against your own negative feelings and emotions. You must overcome these to truly find your path forward.

My Life

Throughout my life, I have followed the paths those who loved, or at least liked, me thought would be perfect for me. Go to college. Major in this or that. Join my father’s business. Go to law school. Join that firm, and then that one. Start a business. “Come work for me.” “You’d be great at this.” “You’re a sales person, do that.” “You’re an ENTP, which means.” Every job I’ve had I received as a result of a friend or other relationship. I followed anyone who thought I could help them or that I thought could help me get that next job.

I’m old enough now that most of those influencers are behind me. After being let go in 2015 and finding no one willing to do that for me anymore, I decided to follow my passions. I was forced off the simple path. I’m so glad I did.

I no longer pay any attention to any of the people who want to tell me I’m nuts, which I already know, of course. Nonetheless, just yesterday, self-doubt and fears of failure based on years of inadequacy welled up inside me. It happens. No matter where you are on your journey, there will be moments, days, perhaps longer, where you will look in the mirror, at the new life you’ve chosen, based on your deepest passions, exploiting your superpowers and in which you find joy, and you will doubt, perhaps even fear, that you are not doing what others expect of you.

Then, you look into your heart and you realize, that you are precisely where you need to be. Sometimes a loved on, an ally, in my case my wife Barbara, is there to talk you off your self-created ledge, and you get back on track. That is a step that each of us has to get to.

No one knows YOUR path. Only you know it because only you are connected to God, however your understand that concept, through your soul, your spirit, your heart of hearts. There is no universal path, no matter what anyone says. How boring would that be?

Not that I am proposing that all the answers are in the Bible, but my favorite verse is John 16, verses 12 and 13. Jesus says, from the NIV version,

“I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.”

I believe that what Jesus is saying is that his teachings, the Bible, are not everything. He is telling us that each of us is connected directly to God, however you understand her, individually, through the metaphor of the Spirit of Truth.

This is how you know, in each moment, what is YOUR truth for You, right then. That is why you know what is right, and when you don’t do it, you lament, “I knew better.”

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